The Blues

For some strange reason today, I'm feeling blue. I can't explain why. I couldn't have woken up on the wrong side of the bed; why? you ask, well, its occupied by another dude. i'm sitting in the office, listening to married gist as usual. The topic of discussion, the dangers of childbearing and proper selection of a hospital for childbirth. One of them just talked about how a group of hyperactive doctors accidentally ruptured her membrane, making the baby suck in the amniotic fluid. That, combined with a prolonged labour eventually made her loose the baby. Now its about the rate of dilatation and four fingers and all. The Lord help me.

I miss my mom. Part of the reason why i was so happy that i came to the FCT was the oppportunity to be different. I believed that things could be different. I really believed that i could show them at home that things could be better. I still do, but the long wait is taking its toll. Praying is hard. I just manage to say thank you Jesus these days. I don't know what to pray for anymore. It seems like i'm just talking to myself most times. I know He's listening, but you know, at times it just gets to me.

Daddy, dear Daddy, I haven't forgotten, hang in there, soon enough, it'll soon be okay. I haven't stopped believing,even though it seems like there's no reason to continue. Nothing seems to want to work out and it seems like its the same cycle trying to repeat itself. But not with me. I won't give in. I'm a child of God now. I know my rights and my priviledges. Things might not be working out as i planned but they are working out like God planned. Hang in there

My head hurts. I think its one of the "wisdom tooth" guys popping out again. No wonder they call them Wisdom Tooth. You really get wise. On second tot, its probably cos of my extended use of the computers in the office.

At least i found that website for free phone stuffs. Now i can make my N70 really work for me. You can try it out too. Its the Pimp.......... link. Boy, this is depressing. I'm gonna go make myself happy after this. I'm a happy person, not some depressed psychotropic dependent schmuk. There, thats it. I'm goona go make myself happy, whether i feel like it or not